Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Advice for New College Freshman

I've been out of school now for a little over three years, and it's hard to believe. Honestly I remember moving in to my dorm as a freshman like it was yesterday. But as it nears the time of year for school to begin again I want to pass on some advice I've shared a bit over the last few years to kids making their way to college for the first time.

This is something that I came up with after my freshman year. Most of it didn't come until my senior year, and some of it came along the way but I didn't put it all together until recently. This is written to a guy entering his freshman year, but it applies to girls as well, just switch the gender and its equally applicable. Also this is written to a guy going to a Christian college, but it's something that can still be applied to all students. And even though it's written to an incoming freshman, there are things that are applicable even to those entering their final year.

When I went into my senior year at MVNU I had four things I wanted to do:

1. Deepen my relationships
2. Soak up as much of my professors wisdom as possible
3. Impact/make a difference in as many lives as I could
4. Experience God in ways I never thought possible

Based on those here are a few things to keep in mind as you begin as a freshman.

First enjoy it. Have fun and soak it all up. You have four years that are different than any other time in your life, take advantage of them.

Second, you only have four years, so make the most of them. Don't wish them away because they go by so fast and you can't get them back once they are gone.

Third, build relationships. I have one friend from high school that I still keep in touch with, but several dozen from college. I met my closest guy friends, and my wife, at college. You'll meet some of your best friends there. Meet people, both students and professors. You'll make connections and friendships that will help you later in life. Get to know your professors, that means talking with them outside of class. Go to their offices, ask questions. It's outside of class that you really learn the important stuff from them.

Fourth, don't ignore your guy friends for the girls. You'll find the right one when God is ready to bring her to you. That's how it happened in the Bible, and that's how God still does it.

Fifth, remember the academic aspect of it. College is also largely about class and preparing you to learn and think. So go to class, study, do the assignments on time. Read, and also learn how to skim. You're there not just for the relationships but also for the degree. Remember that part of loving God is loving God with your mind. So apply yourself to your studies and do your very best.

Sixth, since I mentioned God let's focus on that. College is the first time in your life that you're really on your own. You'll get to experience God in new ways, and come to know Him more deeply and intimately than ever before, if you are willing to. I didn't do the greatest job of this for a while, I let other things get in the way, but when I finally focused on God He took me deeper than I ever knew you could go with Him. I learned so much about who He really is, and how He wanted to use me for His glory. So make sure you make time for God daily. Find a place where you can read the Bible, pray, and hear from Him. Pour into the book of Philippians (unless God leads you somewhere else), it is through that book that I learned so much about the heart and character of God as well as His plan and purpose for my life.

Seventh, find a church and get involved. You don't need to spend 40 hours a week on staff, honestly I would advise you not to take a staff position at a church during college. I did and I wasn't ready for it, I don't think anyone is at 19. It led to a lot of bitterness that God is still working to remove from my life. But get involved as an intern. Find a church that God is moving in and get involved. You might just meet an awesome mentor and friend, and you'll get to meet and impact some cool kids along the way. Be there on Sunday, remember Chapel isn't church, make sure you are part of a multi-generational congregation.

Eighth, make sure to tell your parents how much you appreciate them and everything they've sacrificed to help you get you to this point in your life. This is something I know I didn't do enough, and it's something I don't think anyone fully understands until they are a parent with a kid going off to college.

Finally, all of this is new, and its ok to be nervous. As move in day progressed I got more an more nervous. At the end I didn't want my parents to leave. After a day or two, (classes hadn't even started yet), I found myself in my dorm room praying that the next four years would fly by so I'd be done. It's ok to feel like that, but don't lock yourself in your dorm and pray like I did. This is new, it's big change, just breathe. Take it one day at a time. Get out of your room and meet people. Get to know the other guys in the dorm. Mount Vernon had different events every day of the week that first week, and then every weekend for about a month. I'm sure most colleges do stuff like that. Go to these events, you'll meet people and make friends. They'll help you feel more at home, and eventually you might just refer to the dorm as home. I remember that when I'd go back to my parent's house for breaks it would be weird and I couldn't wait to get back to school.

This is a big step in your life, be proud of yourself for making it here. The things I have shared are things I wish I would have known going in, and I'm glad to be able to pass on now. Don't feel like you have to remember it all. It's typed out so you can come back to it as you need it. Enjoy this next stage of your life, and live it to the fullest. You're going to make mistakes and do stupid stuff, learn from it. (But that isn't permission to do anything illegal or extremely dangerous.) Do your best, do good where you are (I mean do good). Enjoy it, and make the most of it.

To God alone be the Glory!

Peace be with you

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