One week from today I will have survived my first year as a senior pastor. It hasn't been the easiest thing I've ever done, but it's the life that God has called me to, and I'm grateful to be able to serve Him in this capacity. Over the last year I've learned about things I love and hate doing. I've seen things that energize me and things that drain me. I've seen goals and my vision and hope for the future in ministry confirmed, and I've gotten to try some things that haven't worked at all.
I've had people leave for various reasons. I've gotten to build some relationships with people in the community. I've performed my first wedding and the first funeral. I've had people pour encouragement into me, and other people criticize just about everything I've done. I've made at least one really dumb decision.
In this year I've been through a wide variety of emotions. I've held a woman's hand as she heard the news that her husband of sixty-two years might not make it through the night. I sat with a dying man as he prepared to enter heaven, and I laughed with his family as they told me about the life of dad and grandpa as we prepared for the funeral. I've seen people respond to invitations to come to church. I've seen the gospel begin to really get a hold of some teenagers and transform their lives. I've seen God at work in all of these situations.
In this year I've begun to learn things about God that I couldn't have in any other situation. I've asked God a lot of questions. I've dealt with discouragement and doubt. There have been times I've wanted to quit. There have been times I've felt that God abandoned me. There are times I feel that no one cares, or even cares that they don't care. I've spent a lot of time alone.
As I've been reading the Bible the past few months, I've been specifically looking for the heart of God. I've been looking for His characteristics and who He is. He hasn't let me down. I'm about half way through the book of Numbers. I've shared some of my findings from Genesis, Exodus and Leviticus in previous posts. I've seen things about God that I hadn't noticed before. As I've been reading in Numbers recently I found that God always stands up for His leaders.
In Numbers 12, Miriam and Aaron spoke out against Moses because of His wife. They are critical of Him and jealous of the authority that God has given Him. Verse 3 says, "Now the man Moses was very humble, more than any man who was on the face of the earth." Moses doesn't rise to his own defense, God does that for him. God defends Moses, His leader.
Being called into leadership by God is a huge privilege. We see people in the most joyful and most desperate times of life. We see the best and the worst of people. We see greed and selfishness, as well as generosity and selflessness constantly. To some we can do nothing right, and to others we can walk on water. I have seen firsthand how crucial humility is. How crucial not rising to your own defense is. It isn't always easy, but I've seen that the best way is letting God handle the situation. God will defend His leaders.
Whenever I go to the hospital to pray with someone I always read Psalm 46.8-11, "Come, behold the works of the LORD, who has wrought desolations in the earth. He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariots with fire. 'Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.' The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold."
I think that section is important for leaders. God is at work, and He has called us to be weapons at His disposal. We have nothing to fight with, no strength on our own. God invites us simply to be still and watch Him work. He says that He will be exalted. He allows us to play a part in that. The key here is that God allows us, He doesn't need us. We must remain humble. And when things get hard we must keep in mind that as long as we remain faithful to God, we've done what we are called to do.
People will leave. People will criticize. But God is the one we are here to please. When people do support, and do encourage, let us thank God for them, but let us remind ourselves that we are here to please and serve God. That God's approval and encouragement is what we are after. Remember God will defend His leaders. God will stand up for those He has called into service. God is the one who will fight the battles. God is the one who will be exalted.
To God alone be the glory!
Peace be with you
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