God, I Trust You

The last few weeks have been really hectic, but let me just tell you about the last three days. Sunday morning was spent in the ER with my wife, I wrote about it, and all of my thoughts about it, in another post.

Monday I got in my vehicle to go to work and it wouldn't start. I called my dad and let him listen over the phone and he said it sounded like the starter was bad. He came down that afternoon and was helping me with it, it took two hours just to get the starter out. Currently my vehicle doesn't have a starter, battery, or alternator in it. My wife and I are living with one vehicle, and I've been biking to work. We'd talked about going to one car, and this is a forced trial run to see if we can do it. It takes a lot of coordination, and I don't know if our life will let us do it right now.

Yesterday we found out that my wife's insurance had been canceled in February. We hadn't gotten any notification, and the last two payments we sent in for it had cleared. After spending a while on the phone with the insurance company they said there was nothing they could do about it, but that they were going to be issuing us a refund for the last two payments we had sent in.

It's been a hectic three days, that has come at the end of a hectic couple weeks. The church I'm serving has a leadership crisis where no one really wants to take leadership. On top of that there are some financial concerns. My wife is frustrated with work and how they have started scheduling by a computer now giving her even less continuity than before. And I found out that the eight year old son of a good friend of mine has been diagnosed with Lymphoma. It's been a hectic couple of weeks.

Today was a day I really didn't feel like getting out of bed. I had to to let my wife's new dog outside, but I really didn't want to get out of bed. I feel worn out and drained. But honestly I have to also say that I am blessed. My dad was able to come down and help me with my vehicle. I hate working on cars more than about anything else in the world. And after seeing the trouble my dad, who can fix anything, had with it, I have no idea what I would have done.

We have a dog now and she didn't cost us anything up front. The last two days she's been sitting by the door wagging her tail when I've gotten home. She follows me around the house and will just sit by me and look at me. My wife is happy to have her "Princess Rosie", and loves to cuddle with her. I was able to be a blessing to my wife with the dog.

Yesterday we were surrounded by people who encouraged us, and offered to help us. Our Co District Superintendents, the assistant Superintendent, and a pastor friend. We are blessed with great people.

My friend whose son has cancer has been an example to me in the last few years. He is a model of Christlikeness and Christ's love lived out. Through reading his blog posts about what his family is going through with cancer, you constantly see him point back to God, have his faith and trust strengthened, and model excellent fatherhood.

I said in a previous post that God wants to work on my trust in Him, and it seems like I'm being hit from every angle right now. But yesterday as I sat in the hallway outside our church district office I told God, "I trust you." I read in Forgotten God yesterday a verse that I'm feeling right now.

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh." (2 Corinthians 4.7-11)

I talked with my mentor last night, about the events of yesterday, and he again reminded me of something that he's told me many times during the last few months. "This didn't catch God by surprise. He knew that this was going to happen. Everything is God's, God doesn't have resource problems. Everything you have is God's. You belong to God, and so you don't have resource issues, they are God's." My mentor is a man of great faith, and I believe God is working on me now to build my faith in Him.

I am afflicted in every way, but I am not crushed. I am so perplexed, but I will not despair. I am persecuted, but not forsaken, and though I have been struck down I have not been destroyed. The Bible never promises anyone an easy life, not even pastors. It says in Philippians 1.29, "For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake," and here in 2 Corinthians 4, that we carry in our bodies the dying of Jesus. But it says that we die so that the life of Jesus can be manifested. It says our treasure is in earthen vessels so that God's power will be seen, not ours.

God never promised life would be easy, but He did say, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1.9) Paul said in Philippians 4.11-13 (sitting in prison waiting to die), "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Paul knew that no matter what happened, no matter what he went through, no matter what he gained or lost, he always had Christ. God has said, "I will be with you wherever you go."

God always promises His presence with those who are faithful to Him. My study of the Bible is currently in the book of Numbers. Last night I read chapters 19-21, in them I saw that God needs to be the priority, that when we don't make God our priority and trust Him we miss out on the great blessings He has in store for us, and that God always provides salvation for His people. God can be trusted, because God always provides salvation. When we make God our priority, we will constantly be blessed with His presence. There is nothing we will ever go through that He is not aware of and beside us on. Nothing catches Him off guard, by surprise, or unprepared.

God, I trust You. You have promised to be with me wherever I go. You have promised never to leave me or forsake me. You have promised to exalt Yourself. My life has been given to me by You, so that I can have the privilege of glorifying You. Right now You know everything I'm going through, You know everything that I will go through in the future. I ask that these trials will be times when I just draw closer to You and learn to trust You more. Father, Doug reminded me yesterday that this is just preparation for something You want to do, mold me and prepare me. Pass me through the fires of trial because it will only make me stronger in You. Help me to know that You will never leave me, and that no matter what I go through, You are carrying me through it.

To God alone be the glory!

Peace be with you