For Ministry Leaders

The past few weeks have been rough for me. There have been a lot of changes and both my wife and I have been faced with some difficult situations. About a month ago we felt great; my wife has said that during that time she had never seen me so joyful, so content, and just completely focused on God. I remember well going into service that Sunday and feeling like everything was about to turn around. God had been opening a lot of doors, and I really felt like the flood gates were about to break open.

And then I got a slip of paper that cut my legs out from under me. Two of the biggest volunteers were leaving the church to take another assignment. It wasn't personal in any way, just time to move onto the next phase. At first I was doing ok after the initial shock, but over the last few weeks things have just gotten harder and harder. As I've had to take on more and more I feel like I'm doing less and less well. I've never had a problem with delegation before, but now there is no one to delegate anything to. I've been told a few times to see if everything that I'm doing needs to be done, and honestly yes, it does.

I'd love to say that I've had the attitude of perfect trust in God, but let's be real, I can't say that. I've been dealing with some discouragement and probably a little depression recently due to everything. Last week I got a phone call and after hanging up I went into the sanctuary and began to have a real heart to heart with God. I asked "Why" and "What is the point" a lot. And in that He reminded me of a couple my wife and I have been building a relationship with since the end of the summer. He reminded me of the two teenage boys I've really started to be able to pour into.

I'd love to say that it was enough and that I then saw God's big picture and fully trusted Him, but I can't. I vented a lot to my wife, she vented back, and both of us were ready to be done. Sunday came, I preached a message that I didn't really feel my heart in, but it had some good points, and some really challenging questions. My wife came up to me before the service nearly crying, after the service she had a similar response. We're both discouraged. We're both worn out. We're both overwhelmed. We're both wondering why? We're both in many ways wanting God to open another door for us.

But then He shows us that we're not done here yet. A couple in the church talked with us last night before the service about how the message that morning had spoken to them, and the convictions they've had recently. After church last night we were driving and a song came on the radio with the lyrics,

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
Thank God for each day,
His love will find a way,
These are the words I would say

Finally, at the end of the night I was reading in Numbers 9, and verses 15-23 say this, "Now on the day that the tabernacle was erected the cloud covered the tabernacle, the tent of the testimony, and in the evening it was like the appearance of fire over the tabernacle, until morning. So it was continuously; the cloud would cover it by day, and the appearance of fire by night. Whenever the cloud was lifted from over the tent, afterward the sons of Israel would then set out; and in the place where the cloud settled down, there the sons of Israel would camp. At the command of the LORD the sons of Israel would set out, and at the command of the LORD they would camp; as long as the cloud settled over the tabernacle, they remained camped. Even when the cloud lingered over the tabernacle for many days, the sons of Israel would keep the LORD’S charge and not set out. If sometimes the cloud remained a few days over the tabernacle, according to the command of the LORD they remained camped. Then according to the command of the LORD they set out. If sometimes the cloud remained from evening until morning, when the cloud was lifted in the morning, they would move out; or if it remained in the daytime and at night, whenever the cloud was lifted, they would set out. Whether it was two days or a month or a year that the cloud lingered over the tabernacle, staying above it, the sons of Israel remained camped and did not set out; but when it was lifted, they did set out. At the command of the LORD they camped, and at the command of the LORD they set out; they kept the LORD’S charge, according to the command of the LORD through Moses."

The cloud hasn't lifted yet, and so God isn't ready for us to move. God still has work for us to do here. At the moment I'm still fighting through some discouragement, and so I can't honestly say that I'm thrilled about it. But last night I told God that I'm going to follow Him. And until He moves the cloud I'm staying right here and serving. I'm going to do the best I can to serve joyfully with all of my heart. I have my wife who loves and supports me, who is by my side through all of this. I have a few couples at church who are behind me. I have a great DS couple who is a constant encouragement, and several pastor friends that I meet with that share their stories of hope. They have been through this, and they survived.

For all leaders, I know I'm not the only one here. I'm not the only one feeling like this. I hope you can find encouragement in the words of hope that I've found through song and scripture. Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope. God's got His hand on you. Remember, we are called into His service by Him. He allows us to work for His Kingdom, and He will not send us anywhere that He will not carry us through.

To God alone be the glory!

Peace be with you