Husbands and Wives, Men and Women, and Ephesians 5

It's been a busy month, and in some ways I feel bad about my inactivity on this blog. But at the same time so much of my reading and study is going towards the masculine journey which is the subject of the new blog. When you add up the two of them the total is average of what I used to do on here. In the future when I am able to get back into a Church setting full time I'm hoping to be able to blog equally on both, but for now my heart is really in the place of the new one and it will get the majority of my time.

But sometimes something hits me from that blog that though along similar lines doesn't fit with where the post line is going. Such is the case with this one. On Man of God... I'm in chapter 10 of Wild at Heart which is titled "A Beauty to Rescue". It's an essential aspect of a man's life, because in some ways it's what his life has been created for and preparing for. To be clear, life is about more than marriage and finding the person you're supposed to spend your life with. But keep in mind that in a God centered marriage we have the chance to see the full image of God displayed to creation. Both haves of the image, the strong and powerful side brought by the man, and the beautiful, nurturing side brought by the woman, come together as one.

The masculine journey is about a man reclaiming his heart. It is about coming to know and reveal the image of God that he has been created in. And as he learns about and learns to use his strength, it is his calling to use that strength to rescue the beauty. The feminine heart has been assaulted by the Enemy in an attempt to keep the two halves from joining to together. A man must recover his strength if he is ever to going to rescue the beauty and join his half to hers.

As I read and wrote last night my mind went I came across a quote in the text that really hit me, "I wanted to look like the knight, but I didn't want to bleed like one." At that moment I thought of my wedding ring. I picked this one out because of the grooves cut into it, they reminded me of the stripes that Christ received before He was crucified. The point of the ring was to be a constant reminder that I am to love my wife as Christ loves the Church. Christ bled for the Church.

And as I realized this my mind went to Ephesians 5.25, the verse that is the reason for my ring, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her". This is the part of the letter that is mine to read. I had a professor in college who told me that it isn't his job to point out verse 22 to his wife and command her to follow it, it is his job to learn and live verse 25. That is my job as a husband. But in this post I'm going to talk about verse 22 as well, not to my wife, but to the women of the Church with the hope that we might begin to understand our roles and see our lives in the midst of the battle that we are in.

Men and women are clearly different. As soon as I said the world battle at the end of the last paragraph I bet I lost the attention of, or at least didn't hit the heart, of the women who read this. Men were made for the battlefield. We are naturally aggressive, dangerous, and love to test our strength, or at least we were created to be that way. And while our strength is for the service of God, part of that service is rescuing the princess. God said in Genesis 2, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." But ever since Genesis 3 the woman has been under attack, as has the man.

The Enemy works to take our the image of God we bear. That is his only objective. With men he goes after our strength. He works to emasculate us and, honestly, feminize us. If we become passive and spineless, God's strength ins't seen. And without our strength we cannot rescue the beauty, we cannot offer it to her, and we cannot use it to create new life. The strength of men has been given to them so that they may spend it serving others. And sometimes that means using it in life threatening situations. Sometimes that means being willing to give everything just so that others might be free.

Without our strength, the strength of God, it is impossible for a husband to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. It is impossible for a man to bleed like a knight if he doesn't have the strength to suit up and take on the dragon.

Women are different, they are gentle, nurturing, and beautiful, that is the part of the image of God they are created in. Now I am not saying that women are not powerful, and strong, just do something to any of my mother-in-laws children and you'll see how dangerous a woman can be. But the primary nature of a mother is to nurture and care for her children. She is the one they run to crying after they fall. She is the one that kisses the boo-boos, and comforts the hurt feelings. Not that dad's don't, there are times when he is compassionate and gentle, but over all dad is the protector, mom is the comforter.

And so we have this verse in Ephesians 5 that says, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." It's a verse that I think many women don't like, today especially. When my wife and I were in Israel there was a girl in the class who never said it directly, but you could tell by the other things she said that the idea of submission wasn't in her plans. She had some issues with some of the shop owners because in the middle east men are superior to women, and this can be seen even in how they do business. A man can get a better deal haggling than a woman can. She didn't like this and I recall one night she said in class, "I'm as good as a man."

I believe that this is another tactic of the enemy. If he's trying to emasculate and feminize men, then he's probably working to effeminate and masculinize women. He does whatever he can to attack their beauty and purity to make them feel ugly and dirty. I think he uses anger and pride which makes the idea of submission insulting. And today we have a society made up of guys and girls in opposite roles.

Women lead and men submit. Because of this I think men can struggle to really love their wives. A submissive man can't rescue the beauty and a woman who is leading doesn't want, or even feel the need, to be rescued. Neither can play their part, and so the image of God is undisplayed.

So what is to be done? Honestly, I've just been typing and these sentences have been coming out. My initial thought was that a man bleeds as he is injured using his strength to rescue the beauty, and afterwards the woman tends to his injuries, nurturing him allowing him to delight in her beauty. Delight in, not use for his own pleasure there is a big difference. When a man uses a woman he violates her selfishly taking and giving nothing. But when he delights in her, they come together both willing, both vulnerable, and it is one of the most beautiful things in all of creation, and I'm not talking simply of sex. It is at this moment when the two halves come together as one that the full image of God is revealed and displayed to creation.

Men, we must love our wives as Christ loves the Church. We must recover our strength, and then use it to rescue her. Women, you must submit to your husband. Allow him to rescue you, and when he has, tend to his wounds. This is the way God intended for it to be. Because this is when the two complete halves can come together and reveal what He had in mind all along.

"I have been young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread."

To God alone be the Glory!

Peace be with you

The Bible on Church, Ephesians 5

As we pick back up with this study of the Bible on Church, current events may have a slight impact on this post simply due to the subject of the text. In my last post I talked about how posting different Bible verses doesn't help the discussion. In a society that has no real regard for God or His standards, the Bible is quickly thrown out when it comes to standards of holiness that infringe on our desires and lifestyles.

I am usually one who doesn't share my opinion unless it is asked for. I was very reluctant to start this blog three years ago for that very reason (I also didn't feel like I really had that much to say that was really worth saying, which is where the Blog name and URL came from). But for those who take the time and actually read these, it shows that you do care what I'm thinking and saying, and in a way you're asking for my opinion. All of that being said, I don't want to create more division, but I also am called to preach the truth in love. Not fully sure where this is going yet, so I don't know how much of a heads up this gives, but let's see where we end up.

Ephesians 5.22-31, is a passage that has been used in almost every wedding I have ever attended. It was used in my own and my mentor broke it down to two words, one for both my wife and I, to remember. My word was "cherish", and I believe her's was "honor" or something along those lines (I'm not positive because it wasn't mine to remember, but I know she could tell you). But more important than all of that is the idea that the Church is the bride of Christ.

The union that exists between a husband and wife is a mirror for the relationship that Christ desires with the Church, His bride. As a husband my job is to love, protect, and cherish my wife. I am captivated by her as she unveils her beauty. I am to lead her into a deeper relationship with Christ, and guide her in the paths of righteousness and holiness. It is my job to help her see who God is, a strong warrior who will fight for her, and who is captivated by her.

I am to love her as I love myself. That means I provide for her and take care of her. I build her up and encourage her, and again, I am captivated by her so that she can unveil her beauty. She is able to live to her fullest because I provide a foundation in God for her to stand upon. I am not God, nor am I taking His place in her life, but I am to help her see and be all that He created for her to be.

A wife is to honor her husband, and follow his leadership as he leads the family closer to Christ. Today, many women hate the idea of submission, of being led, and being guided. I have met so many, of different ages, that feel this way. This role of "being subject" as the test has it, is not saying to be a door mat that is walked all over. But it is saying to be subject to the Godly leadership of your husband, just as you would be to God. This can get complicated when the leadership isn't Godly, but I am not diving into that right now.

In a marriage relationship God has placed the man as the head, and it is the responsibility of the man to love his family as God does. It is the responsibility of the man to protect his family as God does. And it is the responsibility of the man to guide his family in righteous living.

And it is in this husband and wife marriage relationship that we see the relationship the Christ desires with the Church, His bride. Christ is the head, and He will love His Bride more passionately than anyone else ever could. He will protect her more fiercely than anyone else ever could. He will lead her into holiness, and cleanse her in order to present her righteous, in a way that nothing else ever could. And Christ will delight in her more than anyone else ever could. The Church is to submit to Christ, to honor Him, and follow Him. And the Church is to be one with Christ.

The primary purpose of marriage is not procreation, as has been the key argument in defense of traditional marriage. The primary purpose of marriage is the unity of two different people coming together as one, in a way the shows the relationship that Christ desires with each of us. Life giving power is a result of that union, just as the Church has new life because of Christ.

And in marriage a husband and wife are able to reflect the full character of God. I've said many times that men and women are different, that they bear different parts of the image of God. I am strong, and I have a warriors heart. I can stand up to opposition and I can defend what is right. My wife is gentle and kind. She is honestly the kindest person I have ever met. She has a heart for people that genuinely cares for them on a deep level. I'm rugged, she's sensitive (not in a negative way). We are different, and we bear different parts of the image of God.

When a man and woman come together and become one in marriage the two halves of the image of God come together again and are able to show what God is like to the world. You have the power of God and the nurturing side of God. You have His strength and His compassion. And it is only when the two halves come together that they can make a whole. And it is the full image of God that gives life.

In marriage we see the relationship that God desires with each of us. God desires to love me, comfort me, and nurture me in ways far greater than my wife ever could. And God desires to protect my wife and be captivated her in ways I could not ever do. God desires intimate unity with each of us. And to help us understand that He gave us marriage. To help us see who He is, and to see the relationship that He desires with each of us, God has given marriage to a man and a woman. That is what marriage is about.

I realize that sex happens outside of marriage, that children are born to unwed parents. This wasn't God's design either. The reason sex is for married people is to seal their unity, it is an intimacy that the two of the share with each other, and it is the thing that makes them one flesh. It is from this unity that children come from, and they are born to a mother and a father. They are born to a family unit that has both halves of the image of God together. This is why God gave sex to married couples, to create life, to be uniquely united together, and to delight in each other.

Anything outside of this violates God intentions. An extra marital affair breaks that unity of one flesh. Pre-marital fornication does the same thing. Both of these don't show God because it shows a limited unity, it is intimacy with no commitment. It is simply a search for pleasure. A homosexual relationship takes two of the same halves of God's image, and is unable to do what God created marriage to do. All of these violate God's design of marriage.

I'm not sure how to bring all of this back to the initial point of the Church as the Bride of Christ. This post has gone places I didn't expect it to go. God created us for intimate relationships with Him and each other, but the purpose of intimacy is to show the relationship that God desires with each of us. As a husband and wife marriage involves, love, commitment, honoring and cherishing, along with delight in each other, so God desires that with us. Love, commitment, honor, cherish, delight, these are His creations and part of the relationship He wants with each of us.

"I have been young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread."

To God alone be the Glory!

Peace be with you

To My Wife

Last week I was talking with one of my brothers and he reminded me of how great having a wife is. When I was single I hated being alone. At one point I thought that I could solve that by getting a dog. I thought having "man's best friend" would solve the loneliness I felt. But as I've come to find out, a dog doesn't solve the problem of loneliness like my wife does.

Rosie is a good dog. She's barley out of the puppy stage so we're still working on some things, but overall she's not bad. She's starting to really listen, she even fetches now. She's waiting expectantly for you when you get home (we keep her in the garage when we're gone as we're still working on house breaking, and as soon as she can squeeze under the garage door she's out to greet you). She makes my wife so happy, and most of the time she makes me smile. But she is no where close to my wife. She is a companion, but my wife is so much more than that.

The dog is called "man's best friend," but Biblically, the woman is referred to as ezer kenegdo, "Help meet" (KJV) or "a helper suitable for him" (NASB). I haven't studied Hebrew (Greek was all I was able to squeeze into a pretty packed college schedule) and this phrase has been a little difficult for me to study. For this I turn to others.

In Wild at Heart and Captivating John Eldredge looks at the work of Hebrew Language professor Robert Alter, of Berkeley, who says it is "a notoriously difficult word to translate." He says it means more than just "helper" it means "lifesaver." Everywhere else this word appears it is only used for God, and then only when "you need Him to come through for you desperately." "Eve is a life giver; she is Adam's ally. It is to both of them that the charter of adventure is given. It will take both of them to sustain life. And they will both need to fight together."

Ezer kenegdo is a "soul mate, the most vital companion I've ever known. It is the one you cannot live without. According to Alter it is "a sustainer beside Him." As said in Captivating "ezer would be 'lifesaver.' Kenegdo means along side, or opposite to, a counterpart." "From the beginning, Eve was God's gift to the world - his ezer kenegdo for us."

Eve was made from Adam's rib. Again the Hebrew translation here is a little difficult for English to capture. From what I've heard that word refers to the feminine side, that God literally pulled the feminine part out of Adam, and formed it into a woman. He then brought her to the man to be his helper, sustainer, his life giver. There is a longing to be joined together again. (Look at my post titled "The Full Heart of God" from January 2010)

Rosie, while a faithful companion, is not and never will be my ezer kenegdo. No animal can be. Genesis 2.20 tells us, "The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him." There was no ezer kenegdo for man among the animals, not even the dog.

My wife is the only human being who is my counterpart. While Rosie is "man's best friend" she would be that to any master. But my wife is MY ezer kenegdo, she is my counterpart, my match. She is my helper and lifesaver. She is my ally, the one who constantly has my back. She is my traveling companion as we adventure through life together. There is no other person who I can not live without. She is my ezer kenegdo.

One of the things I've learned in the almost eleven months I've been married is how difficult marriage is. People tell you, and I don't think it's that you don't listen or believe them, but that you can't understand it until you go through it. You take two people, of opposite genders, who have lived completely different lives for more than two decades, and suddenly throw them into the same habitat in the most intimate human relationship available, and there are going to be a few difficulties. It will happen because literally two worlds are colliding and coming together as one, just as God intended for it to be.

But one of the other thing I've learned is that marriage for a ministry couple is even more difficult than for non-ministry couples. I heard an story years ago that has recently come to my mind again.

A man was on a plane and across from him was a man sitting with his head bowed. When the meals came the man set it on the tray and continued to keep his head bowed, never touching the food. The stewardess came later and collected the trays, and the man kept his head bowed. At the end of the flight the first man went up to the second man and said, "I noticed you had your head bowed, are you a Christian?" The man replied, "No, I'm a Satanist. We've committed to fast and pray that 100 pastors fail in their marriages this year."

That's real, that happens. Marriages, especially Christian marriages are under attack. I've said countless times before that marriage is the foundation of society. The husband/wife relationship is central to the family. As the marriage breaks down so does the family. Society is made up of families, and a society filled with broken families is a broken society. Look at America today and you'll see this. How many single moms are out there? How many children have no idea who their father is? How many orphans are there? How many broken homes and families exist?

Statistics show that half of all marriages end in divorce. I've heard, and probably so have you, that Christians divorce just as much as non-Christians. I went looking for the statistic and found that the truthfulness of the statistic depends on how you define Christian. Those actively involved in their faith, those genuinely living it out, are actually 35% less likely to divorce.

(http://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/divorce-and-remarriage/the-christian-divorce-rate-myth.html)

The more my wife and I go through the more I realize how much we need God to get us through this. That just as my wife is my ezer kenegdo, God must be ours. God is the only one who can sustain us through our ministry. The closer and more dependent we are upon God, the closer my wife and I will be to each other, and the stronger our marriage will be. The stronger our marriage is, the stronger our family will be, and the stronger our family is the more it can be used for the Kingdom.

Somehow I've gotten slightly off track. My original intention was to share how grateful I am for my wife. Proverbs 18.22 says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." God said in Genesis 2.18, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." God knew that nothing in all of creation could sustain and help man like woman.

My wife is the greatest blessing I've ever been given. I'm still learning and realizing that. I'm still striving to show her that daily. Honey, I want you to know how grateful I am for you. You are my ezer kenegdo, my helper, my friend and companion. I love you so much, and I thank God for you daily.

To God alone be the Glory!

Peace be with you

God of Impossible Life

This has been a subject that has been on my mind for a while now. God is a God who does the impossible. Jesus said, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19.26b). So with that in mind, we need to say, God is a God of limitless possibilities. And the thing that has hit me most has been the impossible life God has brought from miraculous births.

As I've studied the Bible over the years, I've noticed for sure seven, possibly an eighth, women who have had a humanly impossible birth. Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Manoah's wife, Hannah, Elizabeth, and Mary. The eighth is possibly Ruth (Read Ruth 4.13). In each of these women, birth was said to be impossible, but God gave them each children.

In Genesis 11.30 we are told that Sarah, who was then called Sarai, was barren and had no children. God has promised that Abraham will be the father of many nations, that his descendants will be as numerous as the stars. But his wife is not only barren but is now 90 years old. But God brought life to Sarah in the boy Isaac. Impossible birth number one.

In Genesis 25.21, we see that Isaac's wife, Rebekah, is barren. God had made the promise that through Isaac, Abraham's son, His promise will be fulfilled. And as Isaac prays on behalf of his wife, God answer's his prayers and Rebekah gives birth to twins, Jacob and Esau. Impossible birth number two.

In Genesis 29.31, we are told that Rachel, one of Jacob's wives, is barren. Jacob had two wives, and each of them gave him their maid to bear more children for them. Through his one wife and the two maids Jacob has ten sons, but Rachel is the wife that he loved most, and in Genesis 30.22 God allows Rachel to conceive and Joseph is born. Later He gives her a second son whom Jacob names Benjamin. It is through the family of Jacob that the promise of God is to be carried out. But if God had not opened Rachel's womb and given them Joseph, the family would have died in the famine that struck the land. Impossible birth number three.

The next impossible birth occurs in the book of Judges, with a woman known simply as the wife of Manoah. Her story is found in Judges 13. The nation of Israel has been oppressed by the Philistines, and God raises up Samson to deliver them. Impossible birth number four.

Next comes the one I'm not sure about. I had never thought about Ruth as barren before because the Bible doesn't say that she is. But yesterday as I read Ruth 4.13 I began to think. It says, "And the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son." The wording makes me wonder. Ruth is the great grandmother of King David, who is the King whose throne is to be established forever (2 Samuel 7) in Jesus. Possible impossible birth.

The next one the is certain, we will label as impossible birth number five. It is found in 1 Samuel 1.2b, "Hannah had no children." I believe that this story shows the most detail of what a barren woman went through. She is provoked by her husband's other wife, and we find her weeping bitterly as she prays to God. He answers her prayer and gives her Samuel the prophet who leads Israel and anoints two Kings. Impossible birth number five.

From my memory the next impossible birth takes place centuries later when we come to the New Testament. We are told in Luke 1.7 that Elizabeth is barren. Her husband is Zacharias the priest. We are told that not only is Elizabeth barren, but she is also, like Sarah, advanced in years. But God tells Zacharias that they will have a son and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even in the womb, and will turn many in Israel back to God. John the Baptist is the result of impossible birth number six.

The final impossible birth is different than all the rest. In each of these situations there has been a husband and wife that are barren, unable to have children, or well advanced in age. In each situation God has brought impossible life to fulfill a promise or to deliver,rescue, and lead His people so that His promises can be fulfilled. This final birth does both of those things, and it is the greatest impossibility ever.

"Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the descendants of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary" (Luke 1.26-27). In this we see the greatest impossibility. There is no earthly father, and yet there is a child. God brings His Messiah in a way that proves He has to be the Son of God. There is no other explanation for the birth of Christ than the power of a miraculous God who can do the impossible.

For centuries God has been promising to send the Messiah. Back with Abraham He promised that through him all the families of the world will be blessed (Genesis 12.3b). That promised is carried through the time of David when God promises to establish his kingdom forever. And with Elizabeth the prophet to prepare the way has come. And now it is time for the Messiah.

He will fulfill all of God's promises throughout history. He will make it possible for all people to be rescued from sin, death, and Hell. In Jesus, the Messiah, all impossibilities are possible. It is possible for sinful men to be saved. It is possible for unholy people to become holy. It is possible for the dead man to be made alive and receive eternal life. In Jesus impossible life is available to all.

God is a God who does what we call impossible. He brings life from barren women. And in each case He has used that life to do great things. The life that comes from the impossible circumstance is used greatly by God.

Where is God wanting to bring impossible life in you?

To God alone be the Glory!

Peace be with you

Affirming

"Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 'Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all'." Proverbs 31.28b-29

Women need to be affirmed. They need to be told that they are loved, not because they forget, but because its part of who they are as women. It isn't a needy thing, but part of their make up. Women were created by God to be loved, part of loving them is telling them.

Her husband tells her that he loves her daily. He pours into her words of affection. But more than that, he affirms her. Her tells her that she's beautiful. He builds her up with his words. He tells her that she is the only one he's ever desired, reminds her that she stands out among women.

For a wife to know she truly is the woman of noble character, her husband must tell her how he sees her. It is a husbands job to love and affirm his wife. To show her how beautiful she is, inside and out, not simply to him, but to God as well. A husband must affirm his wife.

I'll be honest, this is one I need to work on. I love my wife. She's the most incredible and beautiful woman in the world. But she needs to be told that. I'm a pastor, I speak publicly for a living, but honestly sometimes with her it's just hard to get words out. So I have to find a way. Today I wrote her a note and put it in her purse for her to find later in the day when she's at work. Men, how do you communicate your feelings to your wife? Words? Music? Poetry? How ever you speak to her, and however she needs to hear it, tell her, and tell her often.

My wife just called me, an the edge of happy tears. She found the card and felt so special. I have affirmed her for the morning, but that doesn't mean I'm done for the day, just like saying I love you on our wedding day doesn't mean I've said if for life. It's a daily thing, like breathing. Affirm your wife, and watch how much more incredible she becomes because of it.

Peace be with you

Respected

"Her husband is known in the gates,when he sits among the elders of the land." Proverbs 31.23

The man of Proverbs 31 is not only trusting of his wife, but he is trusted by the people of his community. He is known by the public, and he sits with the leaders of the city. He is involved in the business of the community, people know him and respect him. This may seem like a fairly simple description; but as I was reading it I got the impression that this is more than simply being respected by the community.

As we read the last verses of Proverbs 31 we see the description of a noble woman, a wife of noble character, and in this one verse, I think it is telling us that her husband is a noble man, a man of noble character. I think this verse takes all of the characteristics of the woman, and here applies them to the man she is married to.

Men, if you want to marry a woman that is described here in Proverbs, then you have to be a man of noble character. To be worthy of a the woman described here, we must live to the same standards, with the same integrity and work ethic. Our passion for God must dominate our lives, our focus must be on Him and the benefit of others, especially the good of our families. We must be men of noble character.

Peace be with you

Trusting

"The heart of her husband trusts in her,and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31.11-12

The first characteristic we see is that he trusts her. It isn't a head knowledge believing that she is capable, but it comes from his heart. He knows that he can trust her. He doesn't have to worry about anything in the home, in her work, or in their marriage. She does him good; not harm or evil, but good.

A husband must trust his wife. He must believe her, and believe in her. He must know that she is capable of incredible things. My wife and I were at a Tim Hawkins performance a few months ago and he was talking about how incredible his wife was. He made the joke, "If she ever leaves me, I'm going with her."

The wife of noble character works hard, and does so much, both in and out of the home. Her husband trusts her. He knows she is faithful to him, and he knows she is able to do whatever she sets her mind to. He trusts her, and therefore supports her. He wants her to do well and succeed in whatever she does. And when that happens he has no lack of gain. The love and respect he has from his wife grows, their marriage and life together is strengthened.

The wife of noble character, must have a husband who trusts her, that is his first characteristic, trust.

Peace be with you

The Proverbs 31...Man?

For Christmas I bought my wife a new Bible. She told me after opening it and looking through it that she always wanted one like it. It's a woman's devotional Bible. It has information about each book at the beginning, the main verses pulled out in each section, thought starters, reading plans, and the cover was blue and green.

I also bought her a highlighter that is specially designed for Bible pages in that it won't bleed through. And so after she had confirmed that she loved it I highlighted a passage for her, Proverbs 31.10-31. The heading in the NASB is "A Description of a Worthy Woman" while the NIV has it "The Wife of Noble Character". I read through it, and I see my wife. The characteristics of the unnamed woman are the same that I see in my wife; confident, sure, hardworking, respected, and in love with God. The woman is the focus of the chapter, many women desire that those same characteristics be said of them. But she is not the only one listed in these verses.

In order for a woman to be a wife, there has to be a husband. And in Proverbs 31.10-31, that man is seen. I believe that if a woman is going to be the wife described at the end of Proverbs, she must have the husband who is also described here.

The Bible has a lot to say to men, I've thought about starting another blog focused simply on that subject. For now we'll start here, and for the next few days we'll examine the man of Proverbs 31.

Peace be with you

Mary, the Mother of Jesus

John MacArthur has a book called, Twelve Extraordinary Women, one of them is Mary. I haven't read all of it, but the parts I have are very good.

Mary is a woman who was highly favored by God more than any other woman in the Bible. She was chosen by God out of all of the women who have ever been born, to be the instrument that brought that brought the Messiah into the world. But while she is the most highly favored women, MacArthur points out that we must be careful not to elevate her too much. She was simply a woman. She is not the central focus of worship, her Son is.

Mary was a humble woman. She was an average girl, from a common family, in a poor town of Israel. She is pledged to be married to a carpenter. She is a descendant of David, but not from the royal line as Joseph was.

Mary is an example of faith, sincere worship, and trust in God. She was dependent upon Him. When the angle came to her she was probably a young teenager. An angel came to her and told her she would give birth to the Son of God. She asks how this can happen, physically it was impossible because she was a virgin, and the angle told her that nothing is impossible with God. This blessing came with hardships. Mary was an unwed girl, and everyone would have thought she had been unfaithful to Joseph. She could have faced stoning, and she would have been despised by the community. She knew all of this, but her response to the angel was, "Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word."

Mary humbly submitted to the will of God. She was a young woman, but had a mature faith. In Luke 1.46-55 we have what is known as The Magnificat, and Mary in it rejoices in God. She talks of Him as her Savior, one who has looked upon someone like her, and blessed her. She speaks of how He is mighty and has done great things, and that His name is holy. He gives mercy to those who fear Him, and shows His strength. He humbles the proud and the mighty, but He fills the hungry. He reminds Israel of His mercy. Mary saw God as the giver of every blessing, as the source of grace.

As Jesus grew she was there for Him. She loved Him as only a mother can. And even as their relationship changed from parent/child to Lord/servant, she stayed at His side, even at the cross she was present for her Son in His last hours. Mary is an example of a Godly woman, and a Godly mother. She was fully focused on the worship of God, even when it meant watching her first born take His rightful place and then suffer and die.

John MacArthur closes his chapter on Mary with this, "Mary never claimed to be, or preached to be, anything more than a humble handmaiden of the Lord...The lowly perspective reflected in Mary's Magnificat is the same simple spirit of humility that colored all her life and character. It is truly regrettable that religious superstition has, in effect, turned Mary into an idol. She is certainly a worthy woman to emulate, but Mary herself would undoubtedly be appalled to think anyone would pray to her, venerate images of her, or burn candles in homage to her. Her life and her testimony point us consistently to her Son. He was the object of her worship. He was the one she recognized as Lord. He was the one she trusted for everything. Mary's own example, seen in the pure light of scripture, teaches us to do the same."

Mary, the woman who gave physical life to Jesus through birth, serves as an example to all of us of faith, trust and worship. Let's emulate her life, not deify her and disgrace her memory.

Peace be with you

1 Timothy 2

I think the climax of 1 Timothy 2 is verses 5-6, "For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all, the testimony given at the proper time." There is only one God, and He is for all people. There is one mediator between all people and this one God. The mediator died so that all might be saved. He gave Himself in our place so that we wouldn't need to die the death that we deserved.

Because there is only one God, one mediator who paid the price for all men, we must pray for all men. We must pray that the truth will be seen and known by all. God is the God of all, and He desires all His children to be saved. But we must pray that they come to the knowledge of the truth. We must show love so that they desire a relationship with Jesus based on the one they see in us. Let us pray for that.

Most importantly is verse 8, "Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension." (verse 12) Men must lead the way in prayer. It is the role of a man to lead, "For it was Adam who was created first, and ten Eve." The world is in the state it is because men failed to lead and therefore women had to. "And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression." (Verse 13) Men, we must lead the way, most importantly in prayer.

If men are to lead, then woman are to follow the Godly leadership that men provide. Woman aren't supposed to draw attention to their material possessions, but to God who is working through, and living in them. The attention that your good works get must be directed to God. Women must pass this on to their children. They must influence the children that God has blessed you with, either your own, or those you have the opportunity to love and help raise. Pass on Christ in you.

In the same way, men must pass on Godly leadership. Show boys how men lead. Show your children, or again, those you have the opportunity to help grow, how to pray, teach them why we do it.

The theme of love and relationships continues here. We pray for others because we love God and we love those made in His image. We desire that they come to a knowledge of the truth because they are His image just like us. Men must lead, and lead through relationships. Your primary responsibility is to lead your family. Let us not fail again as Adam did, and we have continued to do for thousands of years. Woman, follow and influence through relationship. Show others how to focus on God and not you. Show your children who God is, and through passing this on, you will influence the future of the world.

Peace be with you

God given roles

Repeatedly I find myself saying, completely sarcastically, "Wow it's like God knew what He was doing!" As my studies in 1 Timothy continue I've once again found occasion for such a statement, this time with a little less sarcasm.

1 Timothy 2.13-14, "For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression."

This is the end of a section on the role of women in public worship. William Hendriksen offered many insights on the section, 1 Timothy 2.8-15, but this is what stood out to me the most. He says that the role of women in public worship is "based not on temporary or contemporary conditions or circumstances but on two facts that have meaning for all time, namely, the fact of creation and the fact of the entrance into sin."

If we look back in Genesis, we see that man was made first, then Eve. If we look at the text of Genesis 2 we see that Eve was made for Adam, to be his helper. Simply in the way God created man and woman, it is natural for the man to lead and for the woman to follow. Hendriksen says, "The tendency to follow was embedded in Eve's very soul as she came forth from the hand of her creator. Hence, it would not be right to reverse this order in connection with public worship. Why should a woman be encouraged to do things that are contrary to her nature?"

He also mentions the entrance into sin. Hendriksen states, "Eve's fall occurred when she ignored her divinely ordained position. Instead of following she chose to lead." Now I will add something that Hendriksen doesn't state, the fall into sin occurred because Adam also ignored his divinely ordained position, instead of leading, he chose to follow. Adam should have lead her in the path of righteousness, instead of following her in the way of sin. Instead they fell into sin because they stepped off of the path of obedience.

God has given both men and women a divine role to fulfill. We see the result of ignoring that, why do we continue to let history repeat itself? Men, why do we continue to follow instead of taking up our God given role as leaders? Why do we have women who insist on leading, who refuse to follow? Why do we ignore the roles God assigned to us? You could even go as far as to say, why do we continue to sin by ignoring the God given order? If we ignore the way God designed it to be, that is disobedience, disobedience is sin.

Part of the problem is that men won't be men, men won't take up the role of leadership, so women have to. Part of it is that we don't live in a society where men can be men. But at the same time, part of it is that men refuse to take responsibility. Until we as men step up and act like men, nothing will change.

I leave you with the words of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 16.13, "Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, ACT LIKE MEN, be strong."

Peace be with you

Mom

Today is Mother's day, so I want to thank the mothers in my life.

Mom: You did so much, but you always loved, always listened, always taught. I remember trips to the zoo when I was little, playing Batman in the cubby hole in my room, all the school field trips you took work off to be able to go on. In high school when things were tough you always listened. The thing that sticks out most though is the song, "Through it all". Every time it played when we were driving somewhere you would always tell us, "No matter what happens, no matter what you go through, God is there. God will always be there." You started me on the path I'm on, and I wouldn't be where I am today if you hadn't taught me to walk. I never would have gotten here if you hadn't showed me the way. I wouldn't have made it if you hadn't helped along the way. You did so much mom, and I love you so much.

Grandma Sage: You're the most Godly woman I know, and our family owes how close we are to you. You poured time into our lives, you made sure we spent time together, in a way, you almost made us be friends. We probably didn't make it easy all the time, but I know we're so grateful for it now. All the time we spent in your kitchen decorating cookies, all the time we spent "sleeping" in the living room. All the time we spent playing games in the basement and backyard, it all bonded us into the inseparable family we are today. Without you none of that would have happened. You showed us what family is supposed to be, and because of that we can all pass it on.

Grandma Ginger: I have never doubted that you love me. I love when I hear your voice, and how happy it sounds just to hear mine. I love how happy it makes you to see me. It shows me how important I am to you, and I know that even if everyone else didn't care about me, you always will. Thank you for watching me when I was little, for cutting my hair, for being at every sporting even and school activity. Thank you for the love you show me every day.

Jenny McConnell: It's crazy to think that five years ago you came into my life, and I doubt either of us expected it to become like it has. The first Mother's day I couldn't be around my mom you were there. You aren't old enough to be my mother, but you treat me like your son. It has been awesome to watch you grow as a mother to your own kids, as well as feel like your son. You have always been there through the last five years, and I don't know that I could have made it through some of the junk in college without you. You showed me how to love teenagers and young adults, and I look forward to the day when I can do all that you have done for me to someone else.

Linda Russe: It's hard to believe you've been gone for almost three and a half years, but you were mother to me too. I remember the day I met you like it was yesterday. My parents trusted you with two of their kids after knowing you for a few hours. At that point I had no idea the relationship we would have. I wouldn't have made it through that church experience without you. You helped get me through two and a half years of a living hell, and I will never be able to thank you for that. Sitting at your side as you died of cancer, you still gave me something, you showed me what Faith does. You showed me how to live a life as a servant and how to die in total confidence knowing what will happen when you breath your last breath and close your eyes for the last time on earth. It was an honor be learn from you even at the point of death. You affected so many lives, I am just thankful to have been one of them. I pray to leave a legacy like you left. Until we meet again in Glory, I will see you on that beautiful shore.

These are my mothers, the women who made me who I am. To all women, you don't know the lives you will affect, so do what these women did for me, love. Happy Mother's Day.