The Word

Recently there has been one word that has stood out to me. Whether it's been a sermon, a children's message on Wednesday night, songs, or a random Louie Giglio video my grandma asked if I wanted to watch with her. The word, Trust.

I never expected life to be like it has been the last few months. Living at home, working in a job that I hate. The entire time I've been trying to see what the lesson in this experiance is, and last night I finally realized it, Trust.

I've doubted a lot of things these past few months, but in all of it I never doubted that there was a God who loved me, who made me. I did however begin to doubt that He had a plan and that He was working towards that plan. I look at the ideas I've had about how life should be, where life should go, what would happen when, and so far none of it has happened when or how I thought it would. Some of them have been awesome, I haven't been crazy about the timeing being later than I thought, but looking at how life was before this point, I'm glad certain aspects have come later.

I look at where my life seems to be headed now, in a direction I never anticiated to be going this soon, and honestly part of me is terrified, part of me doesn't feel ready at all, part of me feels I will comletely fail and be stuck in one place forever, hating every second of my life. And then I hear the word, Trust.

Here I am
In a river of questions
Can I pour my heart out to a listening ear?
I see this life
Its valley's and mountains
And I think of all the roads that brought me here

I've questioned my reasons
The life I'm living
I've questioned my ability
To judge wrong from right
I've questioned all the things that I've ever called certain
My race, my religion, my country, my mind

But the one thing I don't question is you
You really love me like you say you do
You really love me like you say you do
Hold me
Hold me

I've questioned significance
Meaning and relevance
Does the work I'm doing really matter at all?
Well I've questioned my friendships
Alliance, dependence
Who will still be here when I fall?

Only one thing doesn't change
Only one thing stays the same
All I know at the end of the day is your love remains

Those are the lyrics to "The One Thing" by Paul Colman, and no matter what I question in life, no matter what I'm terrified of, no matter what failure I feel I may fall into, none of it matters, because there is one thing that is constant. In that one thing I Trust.

Daddy, I do believe, help my unbeliefe.

Peace be with you