One Day at a Time

The future has been on my mind a lot. As doors close, or never open, I find myself asking God "When?" "What?" "Why?" and "Where?" a lot. There have been several times in my life that I haven't understood why things go they way they do, or why certain things have taken place.

I'm in another one of those times at the moment. Part of me just doesn't understand why God is making it so hard for me to do what He's called me to do. But as I've been asking that question, God has started to make sense of a few things in the past for me.

After leaving Michigan I went through about seven months of no real ministry work. I volunteered with some children's ministry, and did some pulpit supply, but it wasn't my call in life. In that seven months I started dating my wife, and for income I worked with my cousin and her husband cleaning out foreclosed homes. I hated most of it. On a positive side I got to see my goddaughter a lot, and I got to spend time with my cousin. I got a free tree two man tree stand for deer hunting which I found at one house. But on a negative side, it was long hours, working either outside or in houses with no heat during the winter, and it wasn't my calling.
My wife, who was only my girlfriend at the time, heard me complain almost every night on the phone.

I am grateful that my cousin let me come and work for her, but I'm glad that time of my life is over. For a long time I wondered why God had that time in my life. Part of it was for healing. Michigan wasn't a good experience in many ways, some were great don't get me wrong, but a lot of it wasn't. I had some wounds that needed to be stitched up and so God let me go back to a safe place, under my mentor, and heal up a little. But second, it really gave my wife and me a chance to date.

After going through a the first year of senior pastoring at the same time as the first year of marriage I can say that it was a lot of new. But we had had the opportunity to reconnect and firmly establish a friendship before jumping into it. When we did take on a church we went in fully committed to each other, in this together and supporting each other through it. So it finally makes sense to me.

I've asked why a lot while at the first church. I've been through things I can't believe I've had to deal with in the Church. But at the same time it's given me the chance to learn how to do things. I learned how to get involved with the community and build relationships with community leaders. I'm now comfortable going to meet the School Superintendent and Mayor. I worked with other pastors and church goers in the community to organize a national day of prayer event and resource connection organization to connect people in need to the things that can meet their needs.

I've also had the opportunity to be there for people. The second Sunday on the job I was at the hospital with a man and the doctors weren't sure he would make it through the night. I sat and held his wife's hand for over an hour. I've really learned how to be there for people in need. I've seen first hand that sometimes you don't need to say anything, simply being there is enough.

I performed my first funeral, wedding, and baptism ceremonies. It's been a time of learning, of growth, and of having my calling really shaped as I've seen where my passion in ministry really is. God has begun to answer why.

And in addition to all of this, we found Rosie, our black lab/German Shepherd mix dog (even though she still acts like a puppy she isn't anymore). She's been a great blessing to both my wife and I, and gives us both a lot of joy.

During this first year of marriage I've seen God provide. We had an insurance issue where our coverage was ended and we didn't know about it until after an emergency room visit. God provided for the finances. God provided the money for my wife to be able to join me on the trip to Israel this coming January. God provided a job for my wife that now brings benefits but allows her to have Sunday's off. My wife wanted to go to Cedar Point for our anniversary, and God allowed us to get free tickets. These are the things that immediately come to mind, I know there are others I'm not thinking of.

I've gotten a little off of the point. All of that to say that everything that has happened God has had His hand in. No time or experience has been wasted by Him, and it has all worked out for the best. At times it's taken me a while to understand how and why, but in hindsight it all does, eventually, make sense. That in all things, God provides for those who serve Him, as it says in the Psalms, "I have been young and now I am old, Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken Or his descendants begging bread" (Psalm 37.25).

This morning I met with my mentor to talk through some of the many things on my mind. As wise as he is, he's still humble enough to say, "I don't know" at times when he doesn't know. This morning was one of those times. After saying that he began to share from his own experience.

He said that one of the ways the enemy tries to discourage him is by having him look too far down the road past what he can see, then trying to convince him that there is a cliff around the corner. I'm realizing that it's a similar situation for me. My mind often goes through the same thing, trying to look too far ahead and then being greatly discouraged by trying to see too much when God isn't ready for me to see that far.

My mentor shared with me something he remembered one of his seminary professors saying, "We have marching orders and enough manna for today." The focus needs to be on living for Christ and sharing His love today.

As I've thought about that throughout the day I've been reminded that today is all we have. Tomorrow is never promised. So I could be wasting today worrying about tomorrow which may never get here. It is not my place to worry about tomorrow because there is nothing that I can do about it. God has provided in the past, God knows the time line and situation that my wife and I are in, and He will not let us down.

The only thing that I can do that matters is make the most of today. Today I must live in the Spirit, proclaim the Gospel of Jesus, glorify the Father, and love God and others. If I do those four things, then today is a good day, and I've made the most of my time. It's a day that I can look back at the day and know that I have let Christ shine through me. So that is my goal each day from here on out. I don't want to worry about tomorrow, simply trust and glorify God today.

God knows our needs, He knows our gifts, passions, goals, and dreams. God is going to provide and God will be glorified. I just want to live one day at a time.

To God alone be the Glory!

Peace be with you