In the past week I've heard two words that have impacted me greatly. One has shaken me, the other has freed me. In a way it's interesting (possibly just coincidental) that both of them are six letters long. Any guess as to what they are?
C-A-N-C-E-R, is the first. It's that one work no one ever wants to hear. So much so that Brad Paisley wrote a song where the opening lyrics are, "You're not supposed to say the word 'cancer' in a song". I don't know that there is another word that drains you of hope like this one. Hearing a loved one may have it hits you in a way I can't fully describe.
My wife had a few beauty marks on her face. A few weeks ago one of them started hurting for no reason. She got up Sunday morning and it was bleeding. The next day she went to the doctor, who took one look at it and said, "That's coming off." I wasn't at the appointment and got the initial story through sobs over the phone. I got home, hugged my wife, and told her everything would be ok and I would take care of her.
At that point none of it had sunk in for me. I wasn't in denial, but almost shocked disbelief. The next day I was walking Rosie early in the morning and talking with God. And it hit me. I began to fight back some tears as the reality of the situation began to sink in. The fear that hits you there in that moment is heavy and overwhelming. It's a reality that you can't escape, and can find very little comfort for.
I told four people initially, a pastor, and three of my brothers. They joined us in prayer as we started down this road. We were sent to a plastic surgeon who explained to us how they would remove the two moles. Surgery was scheduled, and he told us he wasn't concerned with them being cancerous. There is some relief in hearing that the odds are good, but at the same time, he's just a man who can't see under the skin. The surgery took place, you can read about that on my wife's blog, I wasn't able to be in the room. And then we waited.
Friday we heard another six letter word, the one every person in our situation hopes to hear, B-E-N-I-G-N. Just as the first word pulls the life out of you, this second one breathes it back into you. You are bound by the first one, and freed by the second. I sat in my vehicle as my wife gave me the news, and afterwards fought back tears, this time of joy. It's amazing how much sooner the reality of the second word hits you than the first. It's amazing how overwhelming the joy and relief can be.
I sat there, and just thanked God over and over. That simple phrase is all I could get out.
"I have been young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread."
To God alone be the Glory!
Peace be with you
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