Israel Goals and Dreams

Once again, my apologies for all of my inactivity. I've found myself with too much time on my hands, and when that happens I tend to put a lot of things off. For about a month now I've been working on one of the assigments for the class I'm taking while my wife and I are in Israel. It's a paper that basically you just have to do it and you get credit, and it has taken me several weeks to get it done.

For whatever reason, today I'm going to post my paper. I don't know that I'm 100% done with it yet, but this is pretty close to the final draft. In this assignment we have to share our expectations, what where anticpating spiritually, how we will contributue to the group as a whole, place we are looking forward to, and how we'll bring it back. I think I've got it all in there.

Pre-Trip Goals and Dreams

I’ve started this paper at least a half of a dozen times. The past few weeks and months have involved so much, and I’ve been working through several emotions and situations. But with all of that, I think I finally have an idea of what needs to go into this paper.

As I prepare to return to Israel, part of me can’t believe that I finally get to go back. I’ve been waiting for this since we got back to America in January of 2009. Even though it has been four years, in some ways it feels like just yesterday. As I am working on this paper, I searched through some files to find the one I wrote for the 2009 trip. The first few paragraphs sound almost identical to what I’m experiencing now, but the rest I can’t believe I wrote.

A lot has happened in the last four years. I graduated college and stepped out into the real world. I’ve gotten married and begun this new journey of life with my best friend. I’ve been through two incredibly tough ministry assignments and taken several beatings from people in the Church. I’ve struggled with finding another ministry position and dealt with discouragement frequently. I’ve wondered a lot about my call, and why God is making it so difficult for me to do what He has called me to do.

In the past four years, I’ve thought about a lot of different things. My views of Church, ministry, and God have changed and matured. I’ve come to deeper understanding about God and what He is really like through the pages of Scripture and the wisdom of others who have served Him longer than I have been alive. I have begun to have my real passion in His service shaped and focused. And while all of that has taken place, I’ve had the chance to see just how un-Christlike, and far from God’s intent, the Church is at times. And it is with all of this very fresh on my mind that I prepare to return to Israel.

As I’ve been working through the reading for class, the biggest thing that has hit me is identity in God. It began with Exodus 19.17, “And Moses brought the people out of the camp to meet God, and they stood at the foot of the mountain.” That phrase, “to meet God” has been on my mind since I read it. Moses, God’s messenger, has communicated the words of Jehovah to Pharaoh and Israel; he has been His instrument in bringing about the plagues, and he has led them across the wilderness and through the Red Sea to Sinai. Moses, the man who has spoken with God face to face, now brings Israel, God’s chosen people, to the foot of the mountain to meet Him.

They have heard about Jehovah for centuries as the story of Abraham’s faith and the covenant between Him and God has been passed down from generation to generation. They have seen His power time and again as they were delivered from slavery and traveled through the wilderness. But now they are going to meet Him. For the first time the children of Abraham are going to meet the God who spoke to Abraham and promised him the land they are moving towards. To receive the fulfillment of the promises of God, they must first meet Him and enter into a relationship with Him, He as their God and they as His people. The relationship is what it all hangs on.

Right now in my life I kind of feel like the people in Egypt, trapped in a situation that is less than desirable. In the back of my mind is this call from God into ministry. In my spirit, I have a burning passion to help the Church fall more in love with Jesus Christ, to help the people who make up the Church become more like Christ, and yet I find myself in slavery to the economy. I feel like I’m holding on to a promise, but the time of its fulfillment is uncertain, even doubtful at times.

On top of all of that, part of me feels like I have no identity. I know that men are defined by their careers, and I’m feeling very worthless without one. At the same time, I feel homeless. We’ve moved into my parent’s basement, just about the last place I want to be as a married twenty-six year old. I’m ready to be on my own again, in my own place that I have pride in, and a desire to improve. As Burge talks about in the opening pages of Jesus and the Land, “Land is potent…because it represents a place where we are rooted and can understand who we are… Each of us wants a place that we can call home, a place we may think of as our own, where familiar things are available, where old stories may be retold, where we experience some connection with a legacy that stretches out beyond us.” (p. ix)

I think in many ways I can relate to Israel, trapped, homeless and holding on to the hope of a promise. And just as the journey to the Promised Land required a stop to meet God, I feel that is what this trip will be for me. I don’t know how this is going to happen, but it has to. I am glad that I have a foundation to build on; it’s going to help me be more open and perceptive because there are things about the places that I already know, and I’ll be able to be more attuned to what God is trying to say.

I’m excited to go back and spend a few mornings by the Sea of Galilee; I’m ready to sit in the corner of Gethsemane again. I have a deeper appreciation for the Via Dolorosa and the Garden Tomb this time around. I’m looking forward to the new places as well, but for some reason Bethlehem has been predominantly on my mind recently. It might simply be because it’s almost Christmas, but maybe there is something else to it. It’s the city where God entered the world. He became homeless, with a painful future before Him, simply holding on to the promises of God. His identity was challenged; He was rejected by those who claimed to love God, and yet He endured it all, and was exalted to the highest place. And I am called to be like Him.

I hope to grow closer to God, experience Him in new ways, and return more like Christ than when I left. I think one way to do this is to help others work for the same thing. My wife and I are both on a journey of healing. The past year has been full of struggles and hardships, but we’ve made it. Now we have a chance to rest, to breathe, and to draw closer to each other, as we encounter God together in Israel.

With the college students, I’ve been where they are, and I’ve been where many of them will be in the next few years. I’ve experienced things that they are going to encounter both in life and ministry. One of the most important questions I’ve been asked is one I think I’m supposed to pass on to them, “Is Jesus enough?” Personally, I’m still working on being able to say yes daily, but I believe that’s also part of meeting God on this trip for me. The devotional I’m working on for the trip is focusing on the idea of meeting God because Jesus is enough.

Over the past few months, I have been asked this question almost daily. Honestly, I believe I’m in this phase of life to really understand and know that Jesus is enough. On this trip I feel that I’m going to come face to face with God in a new way. I believe that on this trip I have an opportunity to help others begin to answer the question, “Is Jesus enough?” as I answer it for myself. It is with great anticipation that I return to the Holy Land and the encounter with God that it holds.

As far as bringing the experience back, I honestly feel this is a personal time for my wife and me. I’m so glad God provided the finances for us to be able to share this together. Having been there once though, I know that you are affected by it, and you come back different than when you left. I do know that this experience will have an impact on our lives, marriage, and future ministry, especially after we find out what God has planned.

Since its 2012 still I can end with this, next year in Jerusalem.

"I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread."

To God alone be the Glory!

Peace be with you