In His Plan

"I am not skilled to understand, what God has willed what God has planned. I only know at His right hand stands one who is my Savior." It was some time early in 2006 when I first heard those words from Aaron Shust's song "My Savior, My God".

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day for me. As I was writing the blog post on daily bread I got an email letting me know that I didn't get a job I had applied for. A job that on the surface looked like my dream job. That's pretty much how my day started, and so it wasn't the best start to the day.

I sat at the top of the steps, called my wife, told her, and shed a few tears of frustration and defeat. At that moment part of me really felt like just giving up. Doors keep closing, and the doors that are open aren't doors I'm being led to walk through. And I as I sat I cried out to God, wondering what I'm supposed to do, what He wants me to do.

Honestly, I was a little angry, and part of me really didn't want to talk to God at all. Part of me felt like He didn't want me to ever really be able to use my gifts. Part of me felt like He wanted me in situations where I would struggle and be miserable forever. And part of me wanted nothing to do with any of that.

It was a rough day. And last night as I was laying in bed those words came to my mind again. "I am not skilled to understand, what God has willed what God has planned." You see throughout the day God showed me that He cares, that He loves me, and that he will provide.

I had shared the situation my wife and I are in financially with two friends here in Canal Fulton, and I found out that they immediately went to work to help us. And God provided for them to be able to do above and beyond the need that we expressed.

Something else happened that I cannot talk about at the moment, but it gave me hope again. Hope in my calling, hope in the potential for a chance to use my gifts and be able to live out my calling.

I went to bed last night in a better mood than when I woke up. I went to bed with more hope than I've had in a while. And this morning I woke up humbled and needing to seek His forgiveness. I know that God cares. I know that He will provide. I know that He has a plan for my life and my wife's life that will make full use of our gifts, passions, and talents.

I wish I didn't get so discouraged. I wish I didn't get so depressed. I wish I was stronger and had greater faith. I wish I could just trust and believe. But maybe that's the point of this experience. I shared a few weeks ago that the wilderness is a place of remembering. Hardships are chances for us to see God come through. When we face things that only He can overcome we see His power in action, and come to deeper faith in Him because we've seen Him come through first hand.

I know that all of this is faith building and hope enforcing. God is reminding me over and over that He does care, and that He has something better in mind than I could ever imagine. He will never leave me or forsake me.

"I am not skilled to understand, what God has willed what God has planned. I only know at His right hand stands one who is my Savior." God has a plan for my life, and though I cannot understand it, there is a Savior at His side who reminds me that I have a place the plan. That Savior will never leave me. God will not abandon me or forsake me.

And the same is said for you. I know how hard it is at times, but I'm watching God come through. I'm seeing God give hope. God loves you, don't give up. His plan is so much bigger and better than anything you could ever imagine, and you have a place in it. He will not leave you for forsake you. Keep moving, keep trusting, and keep watching Him as He comes through.

"I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread."

To God alone be the Glory!

Peace be with you