Poor Father

As I'm reading through 1 Samuel it's important to notice something crucial about the title character. Samuel was a great man of God. His birth was miraculous, his life was dedicated to God's service before it began, God spoke to him at a young age, and he was known among the people as the Lord's prophet. He lead Israel and anointed the nation's first two kings. He was the final and most effective judge of Israel, and is listed in the Hebrews 11 list of Faithful servants of God. But this week I noticed something about him that hadn't ever hit me before. In spite of being a great spiritual leader, Samuel was not the best father.

I was glancing through the NASB Life Application Study Bible I keep in my office earlier this week. In it there are sections that break down key characters in scripture. There is a list of strengths and accomplishments, weaknesses and mistakes, lessons from their lives, vital statistics, and key verses. It's a great tool, and if you're looking for a Bible with a little more information, a Life Application Bible is a great tool.

Samuel's section only has one thing under weaknesses and mistakes, "Was unable to lead his sons into a close relationship with God." 1 Samuel 8 begins by saying, "And it came about when Samuel was old that he appointed his sons judges over Israel. Now the name of his firstborn was Joel, and the name of his second, Abijah; they were judging in Beersheba. His sons, however, did not walk in his ways, but turned aside after dishonest gain and took bribes and perverted justice." The people of Israel know this about Samuel's sons, and they ask him to appoint a king to rule over them.

We have a great spiritual leader who has done great things for God. But it seems to be at the cost of His family. Samuel does great things, but his sons are corrupt and do not serve God as their father does. How has this happened?

If we look at Samuel's life, he didn't have the best role model in terms of fatherhood. After he was weaned, he was taken and presented at the house of the Lord in order to serve God. Each year his mother would bring him a robe she had made when she came to offer sacrifices with her husband, but other than that the Bible doesn't indicate that there was any other interaction with Samuel's biological father, Elkanah. He was raised by Eli the priest.

While Eli judged Israel for 40 years (1 Samuel 4.18), he was a poor father. The Bible calls his two sons "worthless men; they did not know the Lord" (1 Samuel 2.12). They take their positions as priests and use it for their own gain and comfort. They would lay with the women who served at the doorway of the tent of meeting, and word finally reaches Eli about all that his sons are doing.

While he speaks with them about the issue, he fails to discipline and correct them. He leaves it simply at a warning of not to sin against God. That is the example of fatherhood that Samuel learned from.

Men, pastors, church leaders, we cannot sacrifice our families for ministry. My mentor recently completed his doctorate focused on raising a parsonage family. He posed the question, "What does it profit a pastor to gain the whole world and to lose his family?" He has told me repeatedly "I will fail as a pastor before I fail as a husband or father. Someone else can do the work of the church, but no one else can be a husband to my wife or father to my kids."

It does not matter what we may accomplish for the Church, if it costs us our families, we have greatly missed the point. Men we must step up and make a change. We must determine to be good fathers, to be spiritual leaders first in our own homes. We must minister to our wives, and we must teach our children to love and serve God. Family must come before everything but God. Someone else can do the work of the church, but only you can be the man of your household.

This is a lesson I'm still learning and trying to apply. I've been married for ten months and twenty-two days. I make mistakes all the time, I don't fully know what it means to love my wife as Christ loves the church, let alone how to actually do that. But I want to. More and more I'm understanding just how incredible she is. More and more I'm realizing that if God gives me nothing else in life except her, I'm still so far ahead. More and more I'm seeing the huge blessing that I have received in her. I want to be the man she deserves. I want to minster to her and be a blessing to her.

I don't have kids yet, but as I've seen and observed parents over the course of my life I'm picking up things to do and also to never do. I'm praying that God prepares me to be a father, and to raise sons who are mighty warriors for the God of the universe, and daughters who are princesses of the King of Kings. Will I make mistakes, absolutely. But I will not sacrifice them, or my wife, for any church ministry.

Men, God gives us families, He puts us in leadership as heads of our households, so that we can be a blessing to them. We are there to teach our families to love and serve God. We are there to model masculinity to our children, and Holiness to our families. Be an example of a Godly man, husband, and father. Set a standard for others to reach for. We cannot do it on our own. We need God first and foremost. We must walk with Him, know Him, and communicate with Him so that we can lead as He has called us to. We must have fellowship with other men, with people who can help keep us accountable and will walk with us and support us as we strive to be Men of God.

To God alone be the Glory!

Peace be with you